Pathological Abusers

The Masters of Disguise

Do you know what a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath looks like? Think again. These individuals often seamlessly blend into society and can inflict significant harm and trauma through various forms of abuse. Do not let TV and fictional portrayals fool you.

​

In reality, most narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths are not violent criminals and murderers, but that does not mean they are not dangerous. However, such pathological abusers who perpetrate abuse in intimate relationships deserve to be held criminally responsible for their crimes. It is, therefore, crucial to recognize the reality of such types of abusers beyond media portrayals and to take their actions seriously.

​

The Unique Characteristics

They may not always receive a clinical diagnosis, but their recurring and persistent traits often correspond with narcissism, sociopathy, or psychopathy. It is, therefore, important to understand the differences in how their traits manifest in each disorder, even though it can be challenging to learn about these complex conditions.

​

Compared to "common" domestic abusers, pathological abusers are capable of inflicting a different form of serious and long-lasting harm on their victims. Their violence can leave invisible scars that can last a lifetime for survivors. While physical scars can heal, the psychological, emotional, and mental impact of their violence can leave deep wounds that may never fully heal.

​

Those who experience common domestic abuse will often have both physical and psychological scars, but for survivors of pathological abuse, the healing process is more complex and requires specialized support and treatment. It is important to recognize and address the unique challenges that these survivors face and that they receive the specific help and support that they actually need.

​

Abusers' Dual Personality

Pathological abusers often have a dual personality - they project charm and love outwardly to the world while displaying violent and controlling behavior in private. This can make it difficult for victims to recognize the abuse and seek help, prolonging their suffering and trauma.

​

The reasons why these abusers hide behind a mask are varied. They may fear legal consequences or social stigma or wish to maintain control over their victims and avoid losing power in the relationship. To achieve this, they may manipulate their victims into believing that their behavior is acceptable or normal. By hiding their violent behavior, these abusers can continue to harm their victims without being held accountable for their actions.

​

The Masked Monsters

It may be easy to think of pathological abusers as monsters lurking in the shadows, ready to attack unsuspecting victims. However, it is important to understand that these monsters often hide right in front of us by masking their violent behavior behind a charming and loving persona.

​

Like chameleons, they can adapt to any environment, change their behavior to fit the situation, and avoid being discovered. Unlike common domestic abusers who use abuse cycles in intimate relationships, pathological abusers are highly skilled and strategic in their manipulation techniques.

​

Such abusers use a technique called the "Love Trap," which involves recurring tactics and strategies that differ from the typical abuse cycle. The Love Trap creates a unique trauma bond with the victim, making the healing process even more complex and challenging for survivors.

​

But just like a chameleon can never completely change its true colors,...a pathological abuser cannot hide their true nature forever. It is important for society to recognize the signs of such abuse and to hold these individuals accountable for their actions.

​