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What They Do

They Have the Same Manual

What are their actions, and why is it crucial to comprehend their methods as pathological abusers? It appears as though they are all following a shared manual, and by deciphering the patterns they employ, we can gain insight into their tactics and strategies. This will help us understand the complexity of the horrendous abuse that victims are trapped in, as well as the lingering effects that survivors suffer from for a long time, often for the rest of their lives.

Complex Tactics

Survivors of pathological abuse face a complex form of violence. It requires a deeper understanding of the tactics and strategies employed by pathological abusers who exert control and dominance over their victims. By recognizing the distinct differences between such abusers and those who use common forms of partner abuse, we can better understand the complexity of this form of abuse to provide better and more effective support to survivors.

Pathological  Abuse vs. "Common" Domestic Abuse

Identifying the tactics and strategies of pathological abusers is critical to understanding the complexity of the abuse that victims are trapped in. It is important to note that the tactics and strategies used by pathological abusers are not the same as those used by common domestic abusers.


Pathological  abusers are often highly skilled manipulators who use a wide range of tactics to control and dominate their partners. Such individuals are often able to maintain a "false self" that is very convincing to outsiders, making it difficult for others to recognize the abuse that is happening.


They may have a clear plan in mind for how they will exert control over their partner, and they may be very strategic in their use of different tactics to achieve their goals. In contrast, common domestic abusers may use abusive tactics out of a lack of self-control or in response to feeling overwhelmed or frustrated.

The Level of Intentionality and Sophistication

Another important difference is the level of sophistication of the insidious tactics and strategies used by pathological abusers. These abusers may use complex psychological manipulations such as gaslighting, projection, and blame-shifting to control and dominate their partner. They may also use physical violence, sexual abuse, or financial abuse as part of their tactics. In contrast, although domestic abusers can be emotionally abusive, they may rely more heavily on physical violence or threats of violence.

The Persistent Abuse

It is important to be aware that pathological abusers are a complex group who are purposeful, strategic, and tactical in their abuse. They differ from common abusers in that they do drastic things to create an illusion of love, despite the existing abuse. This can also make it more difficult for others to recognize the abuse that is happening.

When the victim tries to break free from the relationship, the trauma bond can cause them to be sucked back into the relationship again. If they manage to break the trauma bond and try to move on from the relationship, they often encounter an uphill battle. The abuse can persist long after the victim has left the relationship because the lingering effects of the Trauma maze that keeps them trapped. This persistent effect can make it very difficult for victims to ever really fully escape the abuse.

A psychopath can do more harm than a narcissist because the abuser has manipulated the victim's thoughts and emotions in such a way that they need to be deprogrammed and rebuilt. Unfortunately, some victims may experience the persistent effects of the trauma that last a lifetime. It is, therefore, important to take partner violence seriously and provide support and help to victims in order to break free from this vicious cycle and move on.

Decoding their Handbook

Understanding the tactics and strategies used by pathological abusers is crucial in breaking the cycle of abuse and providing effective support to survivors.


By decoding the pathological abuser's handbook, we can recognize the unique nature of this form of abuse and the intentional and sophisticated ways in which abusers exert control over their victims.  This knowledge can inform the development of specialized support systems that address the lingering effects of this abuse and ensure that all survivors of pathological abuse receive the justice and support they deserve.


Ultimately, decoding the pathological abuser's handbook is essential in creating a world in which survivors are not only believed and supported but empowered to break free from the Trauma Maze and rebuild their lives.

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Why do they do it?

Manipulating emotions and actions, they turn their victims into puppets, constantly striving to please and appease them. It's a devastating experience to feel controlled by another, trapped in a cycle of helplessness.


How do they do it?

Just like in chess, there are different types of players when it comes to abuse and control. Individuals with narcissistic, antisocial, and psychopathic traits can all be seen as skilled "chess players of intimate partner abuse," but they take different approaches to the game.

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